For any of you who truly know me, you know I like to use an analogy of “Light” quite often.  I love what I do because I get to see the light in people and support them in seeing the light in themselves.  If you’re reading this, chances are you’re already wise to something in yourself: there’s a pattern or behavior you’ve practiced around food, maybe for years, that feels both familiar and frustrating. You know the one. The late-night kitchen visits,  the “I’ll start Monday” promise that never feels as empowering as it sounds, or the way stress or loneliness seems to steer your eating behaviors before you even notice.
Before we talk about change, let’s do something radical: let’s honor those patterns.
Your patterns exist because they’ve worked. They have protected you, soothed you, organized your day, and helped you cope when the world felt loud or heavy.  Food has been a reliable friend when humans weren’t. It has created a sense of control when life felt uncontrollable. It has softened the edges of grief, boredom, anxiety, and the pressure to be endlessly “on.” In a very real way, your patterns are evidence of your resourcefulness and creativity. You found something that helped you make it through, again and again. That matters.
So, thank you, pattern, for how you have served me.

Turn on the LIGHT

Now, let’s turn on a LIGHT! not to shame you, not to expose you, but to illuminate the places where that once-helpful strategy is not helping you today. A light helps us see clearly, helping us ask better questions and make bolder choices. It reveals both the service behind our habits and the pathway forward.

Here are five places to gently shine that light and how to step from surviving, into your own brightness.

1) Shine the light on what the pattern protects or serves

“This isn’t a failure of willpower; it’s a strategy for safety.”

Try this: The next time a craving surges, ask, “What is this urge trying to do for me right now?  numb, distract, energize, comfort, connect?” Name the purpose, not just the food.

Shift: If the job is “comfort,” what is one alternate act that offers comfort without the crash? A warm shower, a text to a friend, journaling three sentences, stepping outside for two minutes of air. Don’t aim to remove comfort; aim to give it more purpose and value.

2) Shine the light on permission, not punishment

Restriction often intensifies obsession. Permission with presence builds trust.

Try this: Practice “conscious permission.” If you want the cookie, pause to truly choose it. Plate it. Sit down. Engage your senses. Ask mid-bite, “More, less, or different?” When your nervous system learns you won’t yank pleasure away, urgency settles down and and choice returns.

Shift: Replace all-or-nothing rules with “mostly and sometimes.” For example: “I mostly eat to feel energized and steady. I sometimes choose food purely for joy.” Both can be true.

3) Shine the light on routines that carry you when motivation fades

Motivation is a spark; routine is the hard-wiring.

Try this: Build “anchor habits” that bookend your day:

Morning anchor: Hydrate before caffeine, plus 60 seconds of body check-in: “What would help me feel steady today?”

Evening anchor: A 3-minute “downshift” ritual—dim the lights, stretch your neck and hips, breathe out longer than you breathe in. Regulation reduces nighttime cravings.

Shift: Treat anchors as non-negotiable kindnesses, not a checkbox. Consistency comes from compassion, not pressure.

4) Shine the light on your inner voice

The tone you use with yourself is fuel or a beat down.

Try this: Turn down the critic by telling yourself what I need is guidance, not guilt.” Then ask, “What’s the next kind choice?” One choice at a time is how momentum begins.

Shift: Swap self-loathing and criticism for “This is data.” After a slip, mindless eating or binging,  ask: What led up to it? What helped, even a little? What would I try differently next time? Curiosity breaks the shame cycle.

5) Shine the light on identity: who you’re becoming

Sustainable change is identity-driven. You act like the person you believe you are.

Try this: Choose a two-word identity cue for the next 30 days. Examples: “Steady Body,” “Kind Athlete,” “Calm Eater,” “Present Parent.” Let that cue shape micro-choices:

“What would Calm Eater do at this meal?”

“How does Steady Body end a stressful day?”

Shift: Track wins that confirm your identity—tiny wins count most. “I paused before serving myself seconds or finishing my child’s plate.” “I packed a snack.” “I stopped at satisfied.”

What needs to be challenged?

The MYTH that you must be perfect to be worthy.  FACT: your worth is inherent, Period.

• The belief that food is the problem. Food is a messenger; the message is unmet needs, nervous-system overload, and stories asking to be updated.
• The idea that change must be dramatic. Dramatic changes burn hot and fast. Gentle changes burn long and bright.

What needs to change?

• Replace secrecy with support. Tell one safe person what you’re working on.
• Replace urgency with rituals. Eat at roughly consistent times. Plan for protein and plants in most meals. Simplicity wins.
• Replace self-critique with self-rapport. Speak to yourself like someone you are responsible for caring for.

Your invitation today

Your light is not something you have to earn through perfect eating. It’s what shows up when you stop dimming your light by honoring how brilliantly you’ve coped and chosen, one kind decision at a time, to build a new light show for the life you want.

• Name the need your eating pattern is meeting for you.
• Choose one alternate way to meet that need.
• Pick a two-word identity cue for the week.
• Celebrate one micro-win before bed.

Thank your old patterns for getting you here. Then turn the light toward what you’re cultivating now. You are not behind. You are becoming. And you were always meant to shine.  If you would like support from me in this process, I would love to help.  Please take a moment to book a Momentum Builder Call with me HERE to set up a plan.  Let’s turn the lights back on together.  ~Mel